


Vulnera Sanentur

by soul_writerr



Series: Hogwarts AU [3]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blood and Injury, Domestic, Established Relationship, Feral Behavior, Fluff, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Protectiveness, Veela (Harry Potter), Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22578484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soul_writerr/pseuds/soul_writerr
Summary: Sonny goes feral when Rafael is attacked, and although Veela laws protect his instinct to defend his mate, he doesn't know what to do with all the guilt he feels for hurting someone. Old friends come to help, new ones have important messages, and, through everything, Rafael loves him.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Series: Hogwarts AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1504184
Comments: 21
Kudos: 53





	Vulnera Sanentur

**Author's Note:**

> Please, read the tags before proceding; the attempted rape is not at all graphic (it's implicity), but the violence is. There's also mentions of blood and death (not Sonny's or Rafael's).
> 
> This is a story of Sonny's Veela instintcs kicking in and taking over when someone tries to hurt Rafael, and Sonny hates himself for what he did for a while. There's a lot of self-flagellation and guilt, and it touches on dark themes like potential murder, but there is still a happy ending. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy, this is not something I've written before for sure.
> 
> Vulnera Sanentur is a song-like incantation to heal serious wounds, and from latin it means "may the wounds be healed".

“And I’m done,” Sonny beamed, waving his last report of the day away. “Time to go home and make my boyfriend a nice dinner.”

Across from him, Mike chuckled, shaking his head. “Funny how it’s always ‘my boyfriend’ and never ‘my best friend’.”

Sonny cooed, getting up from his desk and approaching Mike. “Mikey, don’t be jealous, come with me, I’ve got a couple beers in the fridge.”

“Not looking to be a third-wheel, thank you,” Mike waved him off. “I’ll pop in tomorrow to take your leftovers.” 

“You need to get laid, man,” he laughed.

“Is that what you guys talk about when I’m not around?,” Head Auror Dodds asked casually as he walked into the office, case files in hand. 

Mike grunted. “No, Sir, Auror Carisi was just leaving.” 

“I’m just trying to keep my partner’s spirits up, sir,” Sonny smiled innocently. “But yes, I’m about to be off. Have a good weekend, Head Auror, Auror Dodds”

Sonny snickered when Mike threw a hex at his back. “Coward!,” he said before he closed the door behind himself.

“Making a run for it?,” Nick teased once he spotted Sonny going the opposite direction.

“If I were you I’d do it now, too, the Head Auror just came back in with a bunch of files,” Sonny said with a grimace. He wasn’t one to avoid work, but Friday night dinners with Rafael were sacred.

“Damn it,” Nick tutted. “I left my things in there.” 

Sonny grimaced, patting him on the back sympathetically. “Good luck. See you Monday.”

“Yeah, you and Barba have a nice dinner,” he chuckled, and walked back into the office after a heavy sigh. 

Sonny made his way down one level and found himself knocking on Rafael’s door. He beamed when he heard Rafael’s voice telling him to come in.

“Excuse me,” he peaked his head through. “Is this Mr. Important’s office?”

Rafael chuckled, looking up from his work. “I’m afraid you just missed him. He left at normal hours to have a lovely dinner with his partner.”

“Normal is overrated,” Sonny shrugged, stepping into the office and closing the door behind him. “You too busy?”

Rafael gestured to the tomes and scrolls of paper around his desk. “A bit.”

Sonny sighed, nodding in understand. “I can go and get started on dinner, but you have to promise me to be home in one hour.” 

“Two hours?,” Rafael tried, batting his lashes at Sonny.

“No way, Raf. One hour, ten extra minutes if you need to tidy things up,” Sonny said, firm. He’d stop playing about the hours Rafael made the day he’d passed out from exhaustion on top of very legal-looking documents.

“Okay,” he said. “But it only starts counting once you leave, and you have to kiss me before you do.” 

Sonny chuckled, rounding Rafael’s desk. “You would have made a fantastic lawyer, Raf.”

“And instead I’m just a lousy Curse-Breaker,” he tutted, pulling Sonny down by his robe. 

“Try the best one in the Department,” Sonny offered, and kissed him. 

They’d been together for eight years now, and Sonny would never get tired of this. The way Rafael licked along his bottom lip and nipped it before pushing his tongue inside; it never failed to make Sonny shudder. The taste and the smell of him were intoxicating, and Sonny inhaled deeply, licking inside Rafael’s mouth to chase his taste. 

It was always so, so hard to pull back, to stop himself from climbing into Rafael’s lap. That night he didn’t, he let Rafael pull and pull until he was lowering himself onto Rafael’s thighs, arms immediately wrapping around him. 

They parted for half a second to change the angle, and then they were kissing again, mouths slicker this time. Sonny tangled his tongue with Rafael’s and coaxed it out, all but purring from deep within his chest when Rafael followed him. It was loud and wet, the smack of their mouths and the slide of their tongues, and Sonny couldn’t get enough of him. 

Sonny reached for Rafael’s chin and tipped his head back, licking deeper into his mouth as he did, moaning when Rafael’s hands snaked inside him robes and clawed at his back. 

“If you don’t tell me to stop I’ll bend over your desk and never leave,” Sonny whispered against his lips, breathing his air.

“Don’t stop,” Rafael groaned, and drew another deep kiss from Sonny’s mouth. Good thing he was able to cast a silencing and a locking spells wordlessly.

Forty minutes later, Sonny emerged from Rafael’s office, his hair a mess and his robes askew, but a bright, satisfied grin on his face. He’d set an alarm for an hour and a half later, when Rafael was supposed to lock his office and go home - he had argued that he’d won 20 extra minutes after such a productive, healthy break, and Sonny was too dizzy in his afterglow to deny him.

So Sonny went home, took a nice, hot shower, and got started on dinner.

* * *

Sonny had just pulled the lasagna out of the oven when he heard the distinctive pop of Disapparition from the living room. 

“God Sonny, that smells  _ amazing _ ,” was Rafael’s greeting as he pulled off his robes and folded it neatly. “I’m not gonna lie, that little special break we took left me absolutely ravenous.”

“Still?,” Sonny raised an eyebrow at him, smirking. “I thought you took care of that when you feasted on my ass.” 

Rafael laughed, shaking his head. “Very classy, Auror Carisi. You cast spells with that mouth?”

“I don’t know, you just seemed very satisfied,” he teased, winking at his boyfriend as he approached him. 

“And I was,” Rafael pecked him on the lips. “But I’m looking forward to our lovely dinner.”

“Me, too,” Sonny smiled. “Wine? I got a couple bottles from that Muggle store you like.”

“Perfect,” he said excitedly, then paused on his way to get it. He turned back to Sonny, a soft look in his eyes. “You’re absolutely perfect,” Rafael smiled, pecking him on the lips again. “Thank you for dinner.”

Sonny beamed. “Don’t thank me before you try it, Raf.” 

“You have never failed me,” Rafael opened the refrigerator and found the wine on the lower shelf. “Why don’t you serve us and I’ll get this open?”

Sonny loved the domesticity of nights with Rafael. They’d had them for six years, but he just relished in the feeling of fulfillment, of being whole and complete. Rafael was that for him, and to load a fork with a big bite of lasagna to feed Rafael while he filled their glasses was one of the little things that just felt like being home.

Rafael hummed, long and pleased, sighing happily around a mouthful. “That’s heavenly.”

Sonny took a bite himself, and was happy with the results of the new recipe. His mother had sent it to him, with a list of “secret” ingredients for the sauce that she promised was perfection while also being healthy. Maybe she had a point.

“Couch?,” Sonny asked, picking up both plates.

Rafael nodded, sipping his wine and following Sonny. 

Their kitchen was tiny-- better yet, their  _ apartment _ was tiny, and it didn’t have enough space for a dinner table, so they had gotten a small kitchen table and shoved it into a corner. They normally used it for breakfast, or if one of them was eating alone, but most nights they gravitated towards their two-seater couch, where they’d sit glued to each other, blanket thrown over their laps.

They also didn’t have space for a coffee table, but Rafael had found two wooden couch sleeves for them to set their glasses and plates when needed. The place was small, with a cosy bedroom and even cosier bathroom, but it was home, and they treated it accordingly.

“I was thinking,” Sonny started after a few silent minutes where Rafael attacked his food. “I got a really good bonus for those two long weekends I worked, so how about we have brunch at that nice place with the mimosas tomorrow?” 

“Money specialists always say you should save your bonuses,” Rafael reminded him, but there wasn’t much strength to his argument.

“Yeah, but I worked  _ two  _ weekends. We can save one and treat ourselves a little with the other,” he gave him a dimpled smile. “Come on, Raf, we deserve this.” 

Rafael was generally very careful about money. He always made sure they had at least two months worth of rent and groceries saved, in case of an emergency. They weren’t struggling financially, and they were still able to splurge here and there, but Rafael always argued that both of them were at a formative phase of their careers, and sometimes they needed to take trips or buy books - mostly Rafael - or their robes got ruined in the line of duty - mostly Sonny -, so they kept a good control of their finances. 

Until they started getting paid to participate in research and trainings, they threaded lightly. 

“You telling me you don’t want to dress nicely and be waited on?,” Sonny threw him a knowing look. 

“Okay, okay. After your game, then? I can meet you by the pitch,” Rafael said, not able to hide his enthusiasm. 

Sonny beamed. “It’s a date!”

* * *

Rafael was the first one to wake up on Saturday morning. He stretched lazily, humming in pleasure once his muscles relaxed back into bed. He turned his head, and smiled at Sonny’s sleeping form.

When they were younger, Rafael would look over at Sonny’s relaxed face and sweet pout and think he looked like an angel. Now, after Auror training, years of amatuer Quidditch and active duty, Sonny looked like a  _ God _ sculpted by Michelangelo himself. 

It was very hard for Rafael to hold himself back sometimes. He’d see Sonny strutting around the Ministry in his fitted, burgundy red Auror uniform with gold detailing and he’d bite his cheek. 

Or he’d catch Sonny early on Saturdays, Quidditch gear on, broom over his shoulder, and suddenly sleep was the last thing on Rafael’s mind.

And now, with the sheets riding low on his hips, chest bared, skin positively glowing, hair a mess, he was impossible to resist. 

So Rafael shook the sheets off of both of them and straddled Sonny’s strong, thick thighs. Sonny shifted awake, and his hands immediately went to Rafael’s hips, holding him tight as he blinked his eyes open. 

Sonny smiled up at him, sleepy and lazy. “Aren’t you a vision,” he said, voice gruffy. 

“You’re one to talk,” Rafael smirked, massaging his shoulders. “I don’t know how I got so lucky.” 

“Don’t start saying stuff like that or you’ll make me late for the game,” Sonny said, eyes sparkling. 

Rafael wanted to ask him to stay, to have a lazy morning in bed before brunch. But he wasn’t one of  _ those _ people. He knew Sonny loved Quidditch, but that he’d stay home if Rafael asked. So Rafael didn’t. 

He leaned down and placed a couple kisses on Sonny’s neck, caressing his chest lightly with the tip of fingers. With a sleepy sigh, Rafael moved off of his boyfriend, laying back down beside him.

“I’ll meet you later for brunch, yeah?” Rafael told him with a lazy smile as Sonny covered him up with the sheets again. 

“I can’t wait,” he pecked Rafael’s cheek. “I’ll leave the coffeemaker on for you.”

Rafael hummed, pleased. “Marry me.”

“In the blink of an eye, Raf,” he said, and Rafael knew he was serious. “Maybe we should talk about that.” 

Rafael turned to look at him. “You’re ready?”

Sonny smiled, serene. “We’ve been living together for almost 6 years now, together for 8, and I know that you’re the I want to spend the rest of my life with. It feels right to have a ceremony to celebrate that. What do you think?”

He felt like his heart was going to implode, heavy and full of love for this beautiful man who had devoted his life to him and now wanted to make it official. 

“I think you’re right,” Rafael smiled back, then reached up to run his fingers through Sonny’s hair. “You’re the one for me, I’ve known that for 8 years.” 

Sonny kissed him then, slow, deep and tender. Rafael kissed him back with all the passion he had, all the marvelous emotions Sonny brought out of him. He kissed him with love, and with the promise of forever.

When they parted, Sonny was glowing. “Guess I’m gonna have to work a few more weekends so I can get you a ring.” 

Rafael shook his head, amused. “You still want to spend your money on brunch?” 

“Absolutely. We just kind of proposed, didn’t we? We have to celebrate!,” he beamed. “But I promise I’ll do the whole getting down on one knee thing when I get a ring.” 

“Not if I get it first,” Rafael smirked. “I’ve been saving a little every month, I think I’ve got enough.”

“Of course you’re gonna beat me to it just because you’re more organized than me,” Sonny shook his head. “How long have you been saving?”

Rafael shrugged. “A few months.”

Sonny narrowed his eyes at him. “How many months?”

“Fourteen,” he whispered, and laughed when Sonny spluttered, surprised. “I knew we’d get here eventually, so I started saving.” 

“I can’t believe you!,” Sonny protested. “You should have told me, I could have helped! That’s it, my second bonus is going into the wedding budget.” 

Rafael laughed again. “I think that sounds fair.”

“God, Rafael Barba, I love you so much, and I can’t wait to marry you and call you my husband,” Sonny said, earnest and honest. 

“I really like the sound of that,” Rafael pulled him into another kiss, one that translated perfectly just how happy they were. “Now go or you’ll be late for your game.” 

“You have no idea how much I do not want to leave you right now,” Sonny said, conflicted.

“I know, love,” he smiled encouragingly. It couldn’t be more than how much Rafael did not want him to go. “But if you don’t you’ll get crunky and regret it, so you go and win your game, we’ll see each other in a couple of hours.” 

“That’s why I love you, you always know what to say,” Sonny kissed him one last time before he got up to get ready.

Rafael stayed in bed, relishing in the warmth Sonny had left behind and the happiness in his chest.

* * *

Two hours later, Rafael was stepping into the amateur Quidditch stands at the exact moment Sonny made a dive and caught the Golden Snitch. His team celebrated, flying around him and clapping excitedly. Sonny looked gorgeous, wind-swept, the sun shining on his face and hair. 

Where his Hogwarts Quidditch Uniform had been yellow and black, the ones he wore now were black and white, his name stitched across his back in block letters. Rafael had made sure they fitted Sonny perfectly, not only to enhance his performance on the air, but also for Rafael’s own enjoyment.

And enjoy it he did. 

Rafael watched as Sonny flew back down to the ground and went around high-fiving his teammates, the Golden Snitch still in his hand. He was beaming already, but when their eyes met all the way across the pitch, Rafael was positive he saw Sonny’s smile double its size.

Sonny jogged towards him, broom over his shoulder. 

He immediately crowded Rafael and laced an arm around him waist, leaning down to kiss him. “Look at you, all stylish,” Sonny said after a kiss so soft and tender Rafael thought he was flying himself. 

“I don’t know why you sound so surprised,” Rafael replied with a smirk. 

Sonny chuckled. “I guess I’ll just never get over how gorgeous you are, Raf.”

“You flatter me,” he tutted.

“Just doing my job,” Sonny winked at him, and opened his hand to show Rafael the Snitch. “We won.”

Rafael smiled, proud. “I saw. It was a beautiful catch.”

“Too bad I can’t give you this one,” he said, a clear reference to the Hufflepuff game he won in their first year together.

“Well, I didn’t get to keep  _ that  _ other Snitch either way,” Rafael shrugged. “Who knew the Hogwarts staff was so possessive of their Snitches.”

Sonny laughed, shaking his head. “I’m gonna hop in the shower real quick, okay?”

Rafael nodded, then reached inside his pockets for the clothes he’d shrunk. “I brought you an outfit.”

“I knew you’d wanna dress me,” Sonny smiled, seemingly satisfied. He took the mini bundle of clothes and put in his pocket before he swept Rafael into another kiss. “Be right back.”

Rafael watched him jog towards the locker rooms, a smile still on his face. He sat down on the stands, leaning back and looking up at the clear sky before settling and closing his eyes. Summer had been kind to them so far, and Rafael allowed himself to enjoy the nice breeze and the warm light that fell on him for a moment, sighing contently.

“Hi,” someone suddenly called, and Rafael opened his eyes to see one of Sonny’s teammates approaching him. “I think you might be a little late. You just missed the game.”

“No, it’s okay, I’m just waiting for Sonny,” Rafael waved a hand. “I’m his boyfriend.”

Something flashed across his face, and it took Rafael aback momentarily. Sonny had never given any indication that any of his teammates were trouble, but the way this man had reacted to what he said rubbed Rafael up the wrong way. 

Homophobia in the Wizarding World wasn’t common, but it existed. Rafael just hoped this wasn’t the case.

“Rafael, right?,” he asked with a tentative smile. “Sonny never shuts up about you.” 

“Ah, yes,” Rafael chuckled. “And you are?”

“Steven,” the man offered Rafael a hand to shake, and, when he took it, he pulled Rafael forward. Before he knew it, Steven had his wand pointed at him. “Confundus,” he said, and the magic rolled over Rafael unpleasantly.

Everything immediately went fuzzy. He wasn’t sure where he was or his purpose for being there at all. He couldn’t move properly, and felt someone moving him slowly. He was laid down carefully, head swimming, breathing heavily, and everything was so  _ confusing. _

Rafael tried to sit back up, to say something, but he couldn't. It was as if he were swimming against the tide, running against the wind, trying to move through the fog that had taken over his brain. He tried to fight it, shaking his head violently, but it was no use. He didn’t know what was going on, but he remembered that he had to get to Sonny.

He felt cold, alone, and scared. Soon his eyesight had shrunk so badly he couldn’t make sense of anything around him. He just knew that there was someone there with him, touching him, and he had to get away from them immediately. It was like he was trapped in a nightmare with nowhere to go.

Rafael had no idea how long it had been until things started clearing. He got his senses back slowly, he started to move again, and the fog seemed to vanish, but he immediately sat up in alarm. He barely took notice of the fact that his shirt was untucked and his belt was undone, because he saw Sonny, eyes completely whited-out, teeth bared, growling, and  _ blood _ . 

There was so much blood on him. His hands, his arms, his shirt. Rafael couldn’t even tell if he was hurt, but as Sonny kept punching and punching the motionless man laying below him, more blood flew up at him. 

Rafael didn’t know if Steven was still alive, but he jumped up from the bench and pulled out his wand.

“Sonny, stop!,” he yelled, trying to pull his boyfriend out of his current feral state, but he didn’t seem to hear him. “Sonny, you’re going to kill him,  _ stop _ !”

Sonny just kept growling and punching, seemingly unaware of anything else. Rafael knew that his mind was gone, replaced by the animalistic instincts of a Veela, and he had no way to bring him back until it was over.

Rafael felt panic consume him as he watched Sonny pause for half a second before he put a hand on the back of Steven’s head, and the other on his jaw, and he instantly knew what was going to happen next.

“ _ Petrificus totalus _ !,” Rafael yelled, and when Sonny tried to twist and break the man’s neck, he couldn’t move him.

Sonny screeched loudly, frustrated, and tried again and again, to no avail. Steven was petrified, hard as a rock, and Sonny wasn’t able to move him. 

“ _ Flipendo _ ,” he regrettably shot at Sonny when he tried to punch the man again, and Sonny was thrown back a couple feet, falling on his back with a huff. “I’m sorry, Sonny. Stay there, I’ll be right back,” he said, and hoped to God Sonny understood him.

He grabbed Steven’s arm, and apparated straight into Carmen’s office in St. Mungo’s.

Carmen jumped up from her desk, alarmed, and immediately ran to his side once she saw that it was Rafael, crouching down beside him. “Christ, Rafael, who is this?”

“I-- I don’t know him,” Rafael blinked, standing up. “He said his name was Steven.”

Carmen pulled out her wand and started casting diagnostic spells on him. “What happened to him?”

“Sonny. I was-- He-- I have to go meet Sonny. Just--,” he was panting, eyes wide.

“Okay, okay, breathe, I’ll take care of him, he’s gonna be fine,” she stood up when Rafael didn’t move and shook his arm. “Go. Rafael.  _ Go  _ to Sonny, right now.”

Rafael nodded at her, took one last look at the disconfigurated man and apparated back to Sonny, falling back beside him. 

Thankfully, the Veela seemed to have retreated and Sonny was back. The white eyes were gone, and instead Sonny’s crystal blues were looking at him, absolutely horrified.

“What have I done?,” Sonny asked gravely, looking down at his bloody hands. “Is he dead?”

“No,” Rafael grabbed Sonny’s face to try and pull his eyes away from the blood. “He’s with Carmen now, okay? She’s taking care of him. You and I need to go into the Ministry, we-- We need to talk to someone.”

Sonny nodded. “I’ll turn myself in.”

“You’re not turning yourself in,” Rafael said fiercely, shaking him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. He was--,” he swallowed hard.

“He was attacking you,” Sonny said, pained. “He was on top of you, I couldn’t just-- I  _ couldn’t _ . Next thing I knew, there was just blood everywhere.”

“I know that, I do, but we need to talk to someone, okay?,” he said. “We can talk to Mike at least, yeah?”

Sonny nodded, and held onto Rafael, waiting for the Apparition. It didn’t go unnoticed that Sonny was shaking from head to toe, but Rafael said nothing, and took them away from there.

* * *

When they walked into the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Mike and Nick were the only ones there. Nick was the first one to spot them, and he jumped out of his chair so fast it alarmed Mike into pulling out his wand. 

Rafael had sat Sonny in a chair, and proceeded to explain everything that had happened, from the moment he arrived at the Quidditch pitch until five seconds ago, when they’d stepped into the office. Mike was kneeling beside Sonny now, trying to sooth him after a few  _ scourgifies  _ on his hands and clothes, and Nick took the opportunity to pull him aside.

“You okay?,” Nick asked, conjuring a glass of water. “From what Carisi is saying, you could have been seriously hurt.”

“I don’t remember anything,” he shook his head, downing the water. Nick refilled it. “He Confunded me. I only remember him pulling out his wand, and then I woke up again and Sonny was already…,” he downed the water again.

“Rafael, you should call Calhoun,” Nick said, serious. “You know there’s going to be an investigation.” 

“Yeah, and you should probably call your boss, too,” Rafael let out a shaky breath. 

It came as no surprise to Rafael that, as soon as Head Auror Dodds arrived, he and Mike started fighting over how to proceed with the situation. 

Rafael was now sitting beside Sonny, holding his hand, as they watched the Dodds men trying to come to some sort of agreement while they waited for Rita.

“He  _ attacked  _ Rafael, Sonny was right to defend him,” Mike said, the vein on his neck jumping with every word. “It’s open and shut.”

The Head Auror shook his head. “It’s not that simple, there has to be an investigation.”

“To investigate what, exactly?,” Mike frowned. “A Veela went feral because his mate was in danger. The end.”

“You can’t be involved in this, Michael,” he replied, his sharp gaze telling his son that was the end of the conversation.

Mike shook his head. “He’s my best friend, I know him.”

“That’s precisely my point.”

“And you know him, too,” he pointed a finger at his father. “You know Sonny would  _ never  _ hurt  _ anybody _ .” 

Head Auror Dodds ran a hand over his face, sighing. “Yes, we both know that, I’m sure everybody in this room knows that, but what about the guy he almost killed?”

There was a pause and the room fell silent. Then, with unwavering eye-contact, Mike said, “He had it coming.” 

“Don’t let anybody hear you say that,” Rita said as she walked into the room like she owned it, looking around until she spotted Sonny and Rafael. “We need to talk.”

Rafael shook his head. “I need to call the Head of Veela Affairs first, especially if you plan on taking this to the Wizengamot.”

“ _ I _ don’t,” Rita said, no hesitation. “I can’t take this case, you should all know that.” 

“But someone else might,” Rafael said. “So I have to call Veela Affairs before they get here.”

Rita considered him for a moment. “Let me call. I know her,” she said, then shrugged. “She owes me a couple favors. Head Auror, may I use your office?”

The Head Auror nodded, leading her into his office. Before she closed the door, Rita looked over her shoulder at them. “None of you can be involved in this case, so close your files and start thinking about building Carisi’s defense. He might need it.”

“No matter how many years go by, Calhoun’s still a goddamn pain in the ass,” Nick grunted, shaking his head, but he did close the file he had in hand and sat down.

“But she’ll testify in Sonny’s defense if this goes to trial, and that’s good, her word’s got weight,” Mike argued, pacing.

“It’s not going to trial,” Rafael said, certain, and Sonny turned to look at him. “Sonny was defending me, his mate, and he’s protected under the law.”

“But if the guy presses chargers, there  _ will  _ be an investigation, Rafael,” Mike said. 

“An investigation, yes, not a trial,” he replied. Rafael had spent many, many hours reading about Veelas and everything there was to know about them. There was no precedent of taking a case like this to trial. 

Beside him, Sonny sagged in his chair. He hadn’t said much since they’d arrived, and Rafael could see in the permanent scowl he was sporting that he was beating himself up about what happened. 

Nick also didn’t look convinced, his handsome face twisted with a deep frown, and Mike looked extremely worried, chewing on his bottom lip and still pacing around the room. Before Rafael could try to offer the three other men comforting words, Rita came strutting back out of the Head Auror’s office. 

“The Head of Veela Affairs is on her way,” she said, all business. “I gave her a brief run-through of what happened, but as far as she can tell, there are no grounds for an actual investigation.”

Rafael perked up. He knew there wasn’t going to be a trial, but no investigation either sounded almost too good to be true.

“Are you sure?,” Nick asked, but Rafael was glad to see that his frown seemed to ease up a bit. “We don’t even know if the guy’s gonna make it.”

Rita waved a dismissive hand. “Even if he doesn’t, Carisi and his mate are protected under Veela laws. Cabot will explain everything once she gets here, but as long as he and Rafael are willing to hand in their memories of the incident, there should be no trouble.”

Mike let out a long, relieved breath and Rafael seconded the sentiment, but Sonny huffed and shook his head.

“That’s it?,” Sonny frowned.

“Sonny…,” Rafael started tentatively.

“I almost  _ killed  _ him!,” he all but yelled, standing up quickly, head in his hand. “I  _ would have _ killed him, and everybody’s standing around like it’s no big deal.”

“Sonny, it was self-defense,” Mike argued. “How many of those cases have we investigated?”

“Enough to know that most of them go to trial,” Sonny spat at his best friend, eyes wild. “Because it’s not  _ our _ job to find people guilty or innocent, that’s the Wizengamot’s decision to make. There  _ should  _ be a trial.”

“If you want a trial so badly I can set you a date, Carisi,” Rita said calmly, but her gaze was sharp as she stared Sonny down. “But I hope you know you’d be wasting everybody’s time, not to mention putting yourself, Barba, and both your bosses through a major bureaucratic headache, and setting a precedent for  _ other  _ Veelas who protect their mates to be put through hell, too.”

Sonny seemed to be on the verge of screaming his head out, but instead of doing that, he sat back down with a huff and hung his head low. Rafael placed a hand on his knee and squeezed.

“I’m Alexandra Cabot, the  Head of Veela Affairs at the Department of Magical Beings,” said a calm, soothing voice from the doorway.

Rafael had seen pictures of her on the paper before, but he’d never met her. People talked about how beautiful she was, how elegant, but Rafael could see now that all the talking did Alexandra Cabot no justice. She was  _ stunning _ , and as she stepped into the room, she looked like she was floating. 

“I’m here to see Auror Carisi,” she continued, and she was already looking straight at Sonny. “Could we talk in private?”

Mike, who’d been looking at her with his mouth agape, shook his head slightly and cleared his throat before saying, “Of course, if you’ll follow me I can show you a room.”

“Not an interrogation room, I hope,” Alex said with a soft smile. “Auror Carisi isn’t under investigation, I just want to hear from him what happened.”

Mike blinked again, looking a little frozen in place. Rafael would have laughed if he wasn’t so tense.

“We have a comfortable interview room through there,” Nick pointed when Mike remained silent, staring at Alex. 

“Thank you,” she nodded. “Auror Carisi, shall we?”

Sonny seemed to hesitate for a moment, but eventually he nodded and stood up. He looked at Rafael with a sad expression as he followed Alex into the room, and it broke Rafael’s heart even further. 

Once the door closed behind them, Rafael let himself crumble into his seat, feeling very sorry for himself and for Sonny. Of all the things, of all the people, Sonny most definitely did not deserve to go through this.

Because no matter how much the law protected them, trial or no trial, investigation or no investigation, Rafael knew this was going to haunt Sonny for years to come.

* * *

Rafael was startled awake by a nightmare, the scenes rapidly dissolving in the back of his mind, images of what might have happened if Sonny hadn’t shown up on time. The fear was still gripping at him as he blinked his eyes open, and the turned his head, only to see the other side of the bed empty.

He immediately sat up, looking around the room for signs of Sonny. The room was small, though, so when at first glance he wasn’t able to spot his boyfriend, he stood up.

He found Sonny sitting on their couch, wrapped up in a blanket with a mug in hand, staring into nothing without blinking. Rafael approached him in careful steps, not wanting to startle him, but Sonny quickly blinked back into focus and smiled tiredly at him.

“Hey,” Rafael said softly, sitting next to him. “Couldn’t sleep?”

Sonny shook his head. “I can’t close my eyes. He’s there every time I try to.” 

Rafael swallowed hard. “I get that. I have a couple vials of dreamless sleep potion if you’d like. You should rest, love.” 

Sonny looked at him,  _ really _ looked. His eyes ran over every corner of Rafael’s face, down his neck. “I’m sorry,” he said, small and broken. “I know that what I did was despicable, but  _ please _ , forgive me, Rafael.”

“I don’t blame you,” Rafael said immediately. “I really don’t think you did anything wrong.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong?,” he frowned. “Don’t you understand that I almost killed someone? I  _ would have  _ killed someone if you hadn’t stopped me.”

It was Rafael’s turn to look at him, long and hard. Sonny looked exhausted, haunted. The bag under his eyes were dark, his cheeks looked sunk in. His natural glow was gone, his skin looked ashen, and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked stressed, anxious, nervous. 

“You know what the alternative was,” Rafael said, voice devoid of emotion. 

Sonny shook his head. “You’re dating a murderer.”

“No, I’m dating someone who would have done anything to protect me,” he replied fiercely. 

The mug in Sonny’s hand vanished, and he stood up. “I can’t do this right now. I have to get out.”

“Where are you going?,” Rafael asked softly.

“I just need to  _ breathe _ , Rafael,” he said, running his hands through his hair, pulling at it. “I can’t  _ breathe  _ here.” 

“Sonny, please, let’s go back to bed, we can figure something out in the morning,” he begged, holding on to Sonny’s pajama bottoms

“I have to leave,” Sonny kneeled in front of him. “I’ll be back soon, I promise. I just can’t handle you looking at me like that.”

Rafael sniffed. “Like what?”

“Like you still love me.” 

“But I do love you,” he took Sonny’s face between his hands, caressing his cheeks. “I love you more than anything.” 

“I don’t think I deserve your love right now, and it’s driving me insane,” Sonny whispered. “I’m sorry, I need to take a walk.” 

With a shaky breath, Rafael dropped his hands and, a second later, Sonny had apparated out of the apartment. 

Rafael sank back into the couch and let the tears come.

* * *

Sonny had watched the sunset from the roof. Although he’d said he needed to take a walk, all he’d done was take his broom and fly up the building until he reached the top. Even though Sonny felt like he didn’t deserve him, he couldn’t bare to be too far from Rafael right now. 

Not when everything just kept replaying in his head. 

He had just gotten out of the shower when he’d felt it; a gripping desperation deep within his chest, an agony so strong it choked him momentarily. He’d pulled on his pants and undershirt and ran out, barefooted, knowing he had to find Rafael immediately. 

What Sonny saw brought him so many emotions at once he’d tripped and paused on his run, always falling face-first on the floor. 

Because there was Rafael, convulsing and whining, laying on the bench, looking like he was hypnotized, eyes unfocused and a slack jaw. And Steven McBrook, a man who’d been on his team with him for years, on top of Rafael, undoing his own belt quickly before he went to open Rafael’s. 

Sonny was filled with rage, fear, and a need to  _ protect _ so strong it blinded him. Next thing he knew, he was pulling McBrook off of Rafael by the back of his shirt. He threw him on the floor and straddled his chest, hitting him with all the strength he had in him.

There was a voice in Sonny’s head, his own voice, saying  _ kill him, kill him, you have to kill him, to protect Rafael _ , and even when there was so much blood that his hands became slippery, the voice kept going, telling him to finish the job.

If it weren’t for Rafael, McBrook would be dead now, he had no doubt about it. Sonny would have killed him with his bare hands, in broad daylight, while Rafael laid half-unconscious right behind him. Sonny couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that that was the type of person he had become.

And he couldn’t believe that was a person Rafael could love.

It really, really hurt, thinking he was unworthy of Rafael. It ached to think that just that morning they had been talking about marriage, and now here Sonny was, feeling like a completely different man, while at the same time still wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with Rafael -- safe and sound.

When he apparated back home, Rafael was sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in front of him. He was dressed in his nice, dark blue three-piece suit, hair perfectly styled. But neither of those things were enough to hide the clear tiredness he felt.

Rafael looked up at the sound of disapparition, and managed a weak smile at Sonny. He was so beautiful, even though he looked like he hadn’t slept at all. 

“I was starting to get worried,” Rafael said mildly. “Are you coming into the Ministry with me?”

Sonny shook his head. “No, there’s someone I need to talk to.”

Rafael nodded, pulling away from the table and standing up. “I’ll check in with Mike and Nick, see if there are any news, then I’ll meet with Cabot. I think she wants my memories of what happened,” he sighed. “You should eat something, try to get some rest.” 

“Yeah, I’ll try,” he forced a smile, but dropped it when Rafael sighed again, resigned.

“Sonny, I love you. Do you believe me when I say that?,” Rafael took a step closer to him. “I love you, what happened yesterday doesn’t change anything.” 

“But it should,” Sonny said at once, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why? Because you were so scared for me, you went feral? Because you wanted to protect me so much, you hurt someone despite it going against everything you believe in?,” Rafael asked, sounding exasperated. “He  _ attacked  _ me. I don’t feel sorry for what happened after that.” 

Sonny sagged against the kitchen counter, running a hand over his face. “You don’t see me any differently?”

“Of course I do, because I’ve seen what you’d do for me,” Rafael explained quickly, reaching for his hand. “You’re the love of my life, Sonny, and I have to thank you for protecting me the way you did.”

He shook his head. “Don’t thank me for hurting someone else.”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Rafael sighed again, then dropped his hand. “We can continue this conversation later. I have to go, Cabot is expecting me. Take care of yourself, okay?”

Rafael placed a soft kiss on his cheek, gave him one last worried look, and apparated away with a  _ pop _ . Sonny swore he could feel his heart shrinking in his chest.

Cabot had done her absolute best to reassure him. She’d been kind and patient and had listened to him go on and on about why he thought the situation should be dealt by the Wizengamot, but the Head of Veela affairs had been adamant about not having an investigation, much less a trial.

She had said, in no half words, that the Veela community had fought for centuries for the laws that protected them and, much like Rita had curtly pointed out, allowing Sonny to go through trial would become a precedent that’d set them back in unrepairable ways. 

Although Sonny would never want to be the cause of such drastic changes that would put Veela bonds in jeopardy, he just wasn’t sure he’d be able to live with himself if he were to get away with it unscathed. He’d beaten a guy half to death, and that scared him. 

But there was one person who always had the answers he needed, and Sonny decided he was going to pay him a visit, hoping for some guidance, some light, something that would stop the guilt that threatened to eat him alive. Something,  _ anything _ , that made him feel worthy of Rafael again.

* * *

When Sonny stepped into Hogwarts grounds later that day, he immediately made his way towards the Forbidden Forest. He could see Professor Tutuola sitting by the edge of the forest, and approached him gingerly. 

He hadn’t seen the professor in years, and although he’d send letters here and there to ask how things were, he hadn’t really made that much of an effort to come visit him. Sonny felt guilty, considering how much Professor Tutuola had helped him through his manifestation, but the man seemed to have no reservations when their eyes met.

“Sonny! It’s good to see you again, although I’m sad that it’s under these circumstances,” he said, and Sonny was surprised. “I was already expecting you. Cabot called me last night, asked me if I could be her expert witness in case she needed it. When she told me it was for you, I knew you’d come.”

Sonny ducked his head. “You know me too well, Professor,” he paused, looking around. “I just-- I’m so confused. What I did--  _ What _ did I do?”

“I could tell you,” he sighed, standing up. “I could say you were doing what you had to do, that you stood up for your mate, as you should, but would you believe me?” 

“Everyone keeps telling me that,” Sonny tutted. “But I almost  _ killed  _ the guy, Professor. It was the one thing I had in mind then, to just  _ end him _ . That’s not  _ normal _ , it shouldn’t be shrugged off like it’s no big deal.”

“You’re rationalizing this like a wizard, when you should look at it as a Veela who loves his mate,” Professor Tutuola said, then waved him over. “Come, I have someone I’d like you to meet.”

Sonny didn’t say anything as they walked into the Forbidden Forest. He looked around, trying to see if there was anyone else with them. But the forest was quiet, seemingly empty.

“Isaiah!,” Professor Tutuola called suddenly, looking up, and that’s when Sonny saw him.

A man, sitting on the lowest branch of a high tree, huge, dark brown wings behind him. He looked over at them at the sound of his name, eyes shining bright, and jumped down in the most graceful movement Sonny had ever seen. 

He was absolutely  _ gorgeous _ ; tall, broad shoulders, strong-looking biceps, a sharp gaze that seemed to look into Sonny’s soul as he stared intensely at him, as if sizing him up. He had a buzz-cut, but he ran his hand over his head as if trying to pull his hair back.

“Isaiah Holmes, this is Sonny Carisi, a former student of mine,” Professor Tutuola introduced. “He’s struggling a little with a situation with his mate, I thought you could help him out.”

Isaiah’s eyes narrowed at Sonny. “You smell like a wizard.” 

Sonny stuttered, suddenly feeling very inappropriate. “I’m only half-Veela, from my father’s side.” 

Beside him, Professor Tutuola chuckled, shaking his head at the other man. “Be nice, Isaiah. The poor man’s going through it as it is. I’ll let you two talk.” 

The Professor walked back out, leaving Sonny alone in the middle of the Forest with a full-fledged Veela who looked like he could snap Sonny like a twig if he wanted. And by the way he was scrutinizing him, maybe he did want to.

“Tell me about your mate,” he said suddenly, voice sharp. 

“Uh,” Sonny blinked. “His name’s Rafael. We met here at Hogwarts, he was a Ravenclaw. Smartest student from our class, graduated right at the top of the list. I-- I manifested during our 7th year, but even before we did I just knew. I knew he was the one for me.” 

Isaiah seemed to get more comfortable with Sonny’s presence as he spoke, but he still looked like he didn’t trust him. “And what’s so special about your Rafael?”

Sonny smiled involuntarily. “He’s just-- everything I need. I know I’m gonna be happy wherever he is. And he’s just so passionate, and kind, he’s a real tough guy, but he’s got such a  _ huge  _ heart, too. He’s so dedicated, he throws himself at everything he chooses to do, completely, heart and soul. And he’s always been there for me, understanding and supportive. He knows me better than I know myself, to be honest.”

Something about what he said seemed to have convinced the Veela, because he nodded, satisfied, then took a seat on a fallen tree trunk. “What happened to him?”

With a heavy, shaky sigh, Sonny leaned against another tree bark and started telling Isaiah what he’d done, the way he’d attacked that man. His mind had just gone blank when he saw Rafael in danger, a panic flaring inside of him so strong he wasn’t able to hold the Veela back. He’d given up control completely.

Sonny had no idea how he was supposed to go back to normal life knowing that could happen again. And it could end up being worse next time.

He felt exhausted when he was done talking, so he slumped even harder against the tree. 

Isaiah was silent for a long time, watching Sonny, his face unreadable. After a couple minutes, it started to enerve him, but he waited. Sonny just needed him to say something to make sense of what he’d done somehow or he’d go crazy.

“I once had a mate,” Isaiah started after a while. “My beautiful Pierre. He looked like a prince, and he was gentle and kind like the ones you read about in fairytales. So sweet, so trusting.”

Sonny hadn’t even heard the rest of the story yet, but by the twisted look of grief on Isaiah’s face, he already knew what was coming. “What happened to your Pierre?”

“We were supposed to meet at the park, but he was late.  _ Very _ late, and he’d tell me if he needed to stay any longer at work. He was a designer, he’d get inspired sometimes and not want to leave the office, but he’d always tell me if he was going to stay late.” 

Sonny could hear the frustration, the anger. He felt tears stinging at the back of his eyes as Isaiah clutched at his heart as if he were in pain. 

“So I went into his office, to make sure he was alright. Maybe he got distracted, maybe he forgot that we were supposed to meet, right? When I got there-- It was pretty late for a Saturday, there was no one else in the office. It was just Pierre and his boss. And his boss was--”

He didn’t want to hear the rest of it. He couldn’t handle it, not with the image of Rafael still so clear in his mind. 

“Stop. Please,” Sonny asked, shaking his head. 

Isaiah seemed to understand, and started again. “I lost it, too. It all went blank, and the only thing in my mind was ripping his face open with my bare hands. I think I transformed, because suddenly I had claws, and I was just  _ going  _ at him. I only saw red and white, and I could only hear this loud, ringing noise in my ears.”

Sonny nodded, recognizing what Isaiah was describing. He knew he didn’t have claws, but that hadn’t been a problem. 

“Until I could hear Pierre, crying, telling me to stop, asking for help, and I stopped, I let the bastard go, and he ran away,” he let out a shaky breath. “I took Pierre to the hospital, and he was going to make a full recovery, the nurses told me. He would go home in two days. But Pierre asked me to get him a change of clothes, he told me to go get a warm meal. He said I didn’t have to sleep in the hospital, but I wanted to.”

He paused again, taking deep breaths. Sonny thought about telling him that he didn’t have to continue if he didn’t want to, but then Isaiah was speaking again, his voice hard and deep.

“When I came back, he was dead.”

Sonny choked, a loud sob coming out of him. “How?”

“The bastard ordered him dead. That same night. I let him go, he went home, and ordered my Pierre killed,” he said, jaw set. “You don’t know pain, or heartbreak. This  _ remorse  _ you’re feeling is feeble compared to how absolutely earth-shattering it is to lose the love of your life. You have no idea how many times I wished it was  _ me  _ instead, how many times I  _ tried-- _ ,” Isaiah shook his head, looking down at his feet.

He had nothing to say. Sonny stood there, back against a tree, mouth agape and eyes wide, filled with tears.

“You did what you had to do. You protected him,” Isaiah stood up and approached him. “It’s what you  _ do _ , that’s all that matters. If you weren’t there, if you hadn’t stopped him, he would have taken your Rafael from you, is that what you want? Would you have preferred to have lost him instead of hurting a man you barely know?”

“I’d do it again if it meant that Rafael was safe,” Sonny found himself saying, then shook his head. “I can’t live without Rafael. He’s everything. I can’t even bear the thought of losing him, I just can’t--”

“You weren’t wrong in trying to defend your Rafael,  _ that man  _ was cruel for trying to hurt him in the first place,” Isaiah said, eyes flashing. “If I were you, I’d go back and finish what you started. Don’t make my mistake, don’t let it be too late.”

With that, Isaiah flexed his wings and flew, far away from Sonny. 

Next thing he knew, Sonny was running. He ran until he was out of Hogwarts grounds, and apparated inside Carmen’s office at St. Mungo’s. He looked around, but the room was empty, so he pulled the door open and kept running.

He ignored calls and warnings from the security guards and nurses, turning corners and bursting through the hallways, until he spotted Carmen.

“Carmen,” he called, skidding towards her. “Where is he? McBrook.”

“He was released about an hour ago,” Carmen said, frowning at him. “He’s going to be fine, we were able to fix all the broken bones. The scars will heal in due time.”

“He left?,” there was that ringing in Sonny’s ears again. “Was Rafael here?”

“A little before he left, yes. He wanted to check up on his condition. He said McBrook might want to build a case against you, so he took copies of my reports. Do you need more?” 

Sonny shook his head. “Did McBrook see him?”

Carmen frowned. “I’m not sure. I don’t think so. Sonny, what’s going on?”

“I need to find Rafael,” he replied, and then he was running out again.

Once he hit the sidewalk, he paused before he apparated again. He tried to focus on his senses, look for any sign of worry or distress, but there was nothing other than his own anxiety. Sonny hoped that was a sign that Rafael was alright.

Sonny was surprised he hadn’t splinched himself when he hit the sidewalk outside the Ministry, given how out of it he was. He was suddenly thrown back to 6th year, when he and Rafael were in Apparition class together, and he started a ‘please, be okay, please, be okay’ chant in his head as he ran into the building, making his way straight to Rafael’s office.

The black door that had ‘Rafael Barba, Curse-Breaking’ in gold was locked, the lights off. Sonny groaned, growing more and more restless. His next stop was the Aurors’ office, where he immediately ran smack into Mike. 

“Whoa,” Mike held him by the shoulders. “What’s going on, man?”

“Have you seen Rafael?,” he asked through pants.

“I think he and Cabot just went to her office,” he said, frowning. “You don’t look too good. Sonny, do you feel okay?”

“No, you don’t understand,” Sonny pushed away from Mike. “I need to find him.”

“He’s with Cabot, he’s okay,” Mike said placantanly. “Listen, we just got--”

“I have to go, Mike,” he all but yelled at his best friend and then, once again, ran. 

His legs were burning, his feet were throbbing, but the Veela pushed him forward. Sonny wouldn’t rest, there would be no tiredness that’d be able to slow him down, not until he was sure that Rafael was okay and that McBrook was far, far away from him, unable to ever touch Rafael again.

Sonny took the stairs down to the Department of Magical Creatures, and thankfully Alex’s office was one of the first. He ran past the Department's secretary, who was startled out of work by Sonny’s bolting through the room. 

She didn’t even get to open her mouth to tell him off before he was opening the door to Alex’s office, pushing it with so much strength, it came out of its hinges with a loud noise. 

But Sonny didn’t care, he paid it absolutely no mind, because there Rafael was, safe, sound, beautiful, sitting across from Alex. Sonny immediately fell to his knees in front of him, laid his head on his lap, and  _ sobbed _ in relief. 

Rafael leaned over him, one hand on Sonny’s head and the other on his back. Sonny could smell him all around himself, and he was finally able to breathe properly.

“We’re okay,” Rafael whispered in his ear. “I’m fine, love, I promise. I love you, Sonny. I love you so much, and I’m sorry you’re in so much pain, but you did nothing wrong.  _ Please _ , believe me.”

Sonny lifted his head and grabbed Rafael’s face between his hands. “I’m sorry I didn’t show up sooner. I’m sorry he touched you.”

Rafael shook his head, grabbing Sonny’s wrists. “ _ Look _ at me, love. I’m fine, he didn’t do anything to me. You showed up at the perfect time, and you protected me. You  _ saved  _ me.”

Sonny pulled him in and kissed him on the lips, then on his cheeks, the tip of his nose, his forehead. He just showered him with kisses, and vowed silently to always take care of him, forever.

“We have some good news,” Rafael said with a smile as Sonny continued to kiss his face. 

It was the  _ we _ that finally reminded Sonny that there was someone else in the room, and he looked over his shoulder to see Alex watching them with a fond look. 

“Oh, Miss Cabot, I’m sorry, I--,” he started, but Alex shook her head.

“Don’t worry about it, I understand,” she smiled, then looked over Sonny’s head. “My door, on the other hand…”

He stood up and grimaced at the sight of the wrenched door, pulling out his wand and fixing it with a turn of his wrist. “Sorry about that,” he said sheepishly, then sat next to Rafael. “What are the news?”

“McBrook has been taken into custody and he won’t be pressing charges,” Alex said, and Sonny felt elated. “So there’s no case against you. You’re not being investigated.”

“Really?,” Sonny asked, his voice sounding weak to his ears. “And McBrook is going to Azkaban?” 

Alex nodded. “You and your mate are protected under the law, and his attack on Rafael not only infringed wizarding law, but also Veela rights and protection as you’re a registered member of our community.”

“And more than that, McBrook is being put through a psychological evaluation for being a danger to himself and others,” Rafael said. “He knew you were a Veela, he knew what was going to happen if he tried to hurt me. They’re trying to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Now, you both still might have to testify, as well as a few other of your team-players, Carisi,” Alex said tentatively. “We have to establish McBrook’s behavior and prove that he knew, without a shadow of doubt, that you were a Veela, and that Rafael was your mate before the attack.”

Sonny nodded. “And do we have proof?”

“He knew my name,” Rafael told him. “I introduced myself as your boyfriend, and he said my name and said you talked about me a lot.”

“And I do, all the time,” he looked at Alex. “My teammates can attest to that. I always say no to drinks after the game because Rafael and I make plans every Saturday.” 

“Had he ever seen you before?,” Alex asked Rafael.

“I can’t be sure,” Rafael sighed. “I’ve been to the pitch a handful of times, but I don’t remember seeing him.”

“Wait, wait,” Sonny paused. “He saw you once, I think. From far away, but still. We were going into the locker room, and he pointed out that there was someone still in the stands, and I told him it was you.”

Alex raised a hand. “How exactly did you tell him?”

“I said ‘it’s Rafael, he’s waiting for me, we’re going to brunch in a bit’, I think,” Sonny recalled McBrook had looked back over his shoulder before he followed Sonny that day, and frowned. “Do you think he planned this?”

“I can’t say he did without proof, but he might have chosen his target, then,” Alex opened a drawer and pulled out an empty vial. “Can you give me the memory of that day?”

“Sure,” Sonny placed the tip of his wand to his temple and concentrated on the look on McBrook’s face, on Rafael far away from them. He pulled the blue thread of the memory out, and dropped it into the vial. 

“I’ll watch this later and try to see if I can find anything,” Alex said as she took the vial back.

“But why would he do that?,” Rafael asked. “Why would he purposely attack a Veela’s mate?”

Alex sighed, leaning back into her chair. “I think the Mind-Healer is going to answer that for us after his evaluation.”

“He must have had a death wish,” Rafael frowned, and Sonny swallowed, remembering what Isaiah had said.

“Or wanted the power trip,” Alex rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t believe the way people play with magical creatures. Novak down at Vampires Affairs will tell you the most chilling stories.”

Sonny chuckled drily. “I think I’ve had my fill.”

“Yeah, me too,” Rafael sighed. “Do you need anything else?”

“I think we’re good for today,” Alex smiled. “You two deserve a rest.” 

Sonny stood up and offered a hand to Alex. “Alex, thank you so much for all your help.”

Alex took his hand and squeezed it. “You don’t need to thank me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my mate either.”

Rafael shook her hand as well, and they shared a few words of gratitude as Sonny waited by the now fixed door. When they stepped out into the hallway, Sonny immediately took Rafael’s hand in his. He didn’t care that they were at their workplace, he needed this.

“I think I yelled at Mike earlier,” Sonny frowned at himself.

Rafael chuckled. “Do you wanna go talk to him?”

“No, I think McBrook is down there,” he paused. “Raf, if he ever comes near you again…”

“I’ll curse him,” Rafael said fiercely. “I am  _ never _ putting us in that position again, Sonny. If he ever tries anything again, or if anyone else does, I’ll have them on the floor in a second, I promise you. We don’t deserve this.”

“ _ You _ didn’t put us in any position, but I get it,” Sonny nodded, letting out a long breath. “I didn’t like being out of control like that, but I’d do it again for you. I’d do it a hundred times.”

Rafael smiled softly. “I know. But I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to feel guilty for trying to protect me, I don’t want you to be suspended or investigated. It’s not happening again.” 

“Come on,” he picked up his step. “Let’s go home.”

* * *

When they both showered and got into bed later that day, Sonny immediately pulled Rafael to him. He laid his head on Sonny’s chest and wrapped his arms around him, throwing one leg over Sonny’s as well.

Rafael made sure to take advantage of every possible point of contact in that moment; he needed to feel Sonny close to him just as much as Sonny needed to have Rafael in his arms.

They were quiet for a while, neither saying anything but both caressing the other with light touches of their fingertips, gentle brushes of lips against the other’s. Rafael stared deep into Sonny’s eyes for a few minutes, and watched as a myriad of conflicting emotions came and went.

Rafael set a hand lightly on Sonny’s face, his thumb caressing his cheekbone back and forth in what he hoped was a soothing manner. Sonny closed his eyes for a moment, sighing as Rafael kept his touches careful and adoring. 

He tipped his head back so he could brush their noses together, smiling when the corner of Sonny’s lips ticked up involuntarily at the touch. It was just enough for him to see a flash of the dimple he loved so much, so he kept going, then moved on to bushing their lips together.

Rafael giggled when Sonny started pecking his lips lightly every time he shifted his head to continue with his eskimo kisses, and then Sonny was smiling at him, laughing quietly as well. He opened his eyes, and Rafael saw so much love there he couldn’t help himself, he kissed Sonny fully on the lips, a soft touch that was so familiar to them.

Once they parted, Sonny took hold of Rafael wrist and turned his head to kiss the palm of Rafael’s hand repeatedly, full of reverence and adoration. 

“Were you scared?,” Sonny started quietly. “When you saw me like… that?”

Rafael shook his head, resting his hand on Sonny’s face again. “I wasn’t scared of you, no, but I was scared  _ for _ you. I didn’t want you to get hurt, and I knew how horrible you’d feel afterwards.” 

“You’ve always been braver than me,” he managed a small smile. “I was  _ so  _ scared to lose you, Raf, you have no idea how absolutely agonizing it was.”

“Maybe I don’t know to that extent, but watching you hating yourself was its own brand of agonizing for me,” Rafael said. “I love you so much, and I don’t ever want you to doubt that, for one single second.”

“I don’t,” Sonny immediately said. “I never doubted that you love me, I just wasn’t sure if you should, after what I did.”

“I don’t know who I am if I’m not loving you, Sonny,” he replied fiercely. “I feel like I’ve loved you my whole entire life, and it’s the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

Sonny took his mouth in another kiss, this one less tender and a touch more possessive. 

“Professor Tutuola introduced me to a full Veela,” Sonny started when they broke the kiss and settled again. “And he told me the most horrible story about his mate. He looked… broken, cold… alone. He said nothing would ever hurt more than losing a mate, and I know he’s right.”

Sonny looked into Rafael’s eyes, and he looked resolute. “I want to bond with you,” Sonny said confidently. “Let’s have a full bonding ritual ceremony.”

Rafael felt his whole face stretch into a big smile. “I don’t see a ring or you getting down on one knee like you promised.”

Sonny laughed, open and beautiful. “Okay, fair enough, but Rafael, I don’t ever want to lose you, and as your bonded mate I promise that I’ll do everything in my power to protect you from any harm.”

“I trust you,” he whispered against Sonny’s lips. “I’ve always trusted you, please don’t ever doubt yourself or your worth as my mate. I might not be a magical creature, but I don’t ever want to lose you, either. You’re my everything, Sonny.”

Rafael was the one to kiss him this time, getting lost in the softness of Sonny’s lips and the pleased hum that bubbled out of him when their tongues met in a slow dance. He’d gotten lost in Sonny’s kiss so many times in all the years they’d been together, and it still had a way to sweep him off his feet.

When they parted this time, lips a little swollen, Sonny was glowing again, a beautiful smile growing, his blue eyes twinkling. Rafael knew he’d never get tired of that.

“Can we go ring shopping tomorrow?,” Sonny asked eagerly. 

“That’s a great idea,” Rafael said, and laid his head on Sonny’s chest again. “But I’d like to sleep in.”

“We can,” he nodded, then placed a kiss on the top of Rafael’s head. “Just like this. Don’t roll away from me.”

Rafael chuckled. “Never,” with that, they both closed their eyes, and let peaceful sleep finally come. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is definitely the darkest story I've ever written, but I did like writing Sonny's struggles because of his justice gene then eventually understanding that he did what he had to do. 
> 
> Let me know what you think of this work! I almost deleted the whole thing, but some of you seemed to be interested in reading it, so this goes out to YOU <3 MWAH


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